Written on My Heart | #WordlessWednesday

Losing a loved one does not just make us
painfully aware of their mortality, but our own,
which comes with a great sense of responsibility–

to carry on living our lives a little more
mindfully, purposefully, and wholeheartedly,
now that they cannot

(I miss you and I will always love you) –-Emina Gaspar-Vrana

Today my sister Lori would have celebrated her 56th birthday. In the photo above are the last Christmas gifts she gave me–a brooch representing [us] six sisters joined by hip and heart and a beautiful sister-heart. She gave them to me last January–weeks after her diagnosis–when we made a special trip to New Orleans so she and I could have a sister heart to heart that I didn’t want to have by phone. While I struggle with the cruel reality of two sisters gone, I walk in the knowledge that not even death can remove the imprint of my sisters from my heart.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) –e.e. cummings

Let It Snow!

“Let It Snow,” Photo by Diane W (midteacher)

My students are tired; my colleagues are tired; and I am certainly tired. I can’t figure out why we’re all so exhausted less than three weeks into spring semester, but we are and we need a little break.

After a preview of this week’s weather, my son and I started praying for a snow day Friday–literally. Today, I enlisted the students and a couple of my colleagues.

In preparation for the “inclement weather” announcement that was sure to come, I stopped by Publix for “essential” snow day supplies. As I shopped, I was heartened by the bubbly energy of other teachers and professors exchanging quiet “hallelujahs” for the unplanned day off. Finally, moments after arriving home, the announcement came: “Classes cancelled.” I heard the collective shout of the students 15 miles away.

In anticipation of snow, I’m sharing some wintry mail from Michigan for this Microblog Monday.

I received the elegant winter-themed envelope from Diane W. (midteacher on swap-bot) a week or so ago; it remained unopened for days because I didn’t want to disturb the pretty.

Don’t you agree?

Here’s a closer look at some of the details:

Diane even “fancied up” the back:

There were about 10 photos tucked inside the pockets of the handmade envelope and a letter detailing the experience of her last photo walk of 2018.

With a piping hot mug of tea (posed above) Diane braved the cold and snapped photos of her “garden in its winter coat with fallen leaves still scattered from the old oak tree guarding the garden.”

I love every photo she included in the envelope, but, in addition to the mug, here are my favorites.

A snow-cushioned chair that invited her to “sit for a spell” [she declined]:

“Snow Covered Chair,” Photo by Diane W. [midteacher]

Leaves “still hanging on the raspberry bushes curled with a hint of green in the centers.” They look [to me] like two birds having a conversation. Diane enclosed the color and black and white versions of the photo. I have a thing for black and white, so…

“Birds Talking,” Photo by Diane W. [midteacher]

Dried globe thistle “donning caps of snow crystals.”

“Snow-capped Thistles,” Photo by Diane W. [midteacher]

I know snow days are not simply fun and games for everyone, so though I am looking forward to a needed day to rest and get caught up on a few things (perhaps?), my thoughts and prayers are also with those who will have to deal with the worst of the storm.

Stay dry. Stay warm. Stay safe.

#ThursdayTreeLove | Abstract Reflection

As I was scrolling through my camera roll for a tree for today’s post, I paused on the image above. It is not great tree work, but I like it because it reminds me of my penfriend Beckra’s photography and it reflects my mood the last couple of weeks–not quite clear about what that mood is, but it is.

I captured the reflection of trees on a pond last summer at a park near our home. I’ve been having a strong urge to get to the park and walk the trail, but the cold temperatures have kept me away. Maybe, I’ll bundle up and brave the temperatures tomorrow. The water and trees are calling me. They know I need them.


I am joining Parul Thakur for #ThursdayTreeLove every second and fourth Thursday of the month. If you would like to play along, post a picture of a tree on your blog and link it back to her latest #treelove post.

“You Will Love Again the Stranger Who Was Your Self”

Love After Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life. 

We take a lot of abuse as we try to get through this thing called life, especially if we want to live with as little “drama” as possible. Little by little we give bits of ourselves away and suppress the best parts for the acceptance of others, until there’s little trace of our beautiful, natural self.

We can’t quite love this crafted version of ourselves, but we struggle to recall who we really are. All is not lost. Derek Walcott’s “Love After Love” offers hope for the journey to self-recovery.

If your true self has lain dormant, but you’re constantly at odds with this alien self, I hope you will take the hard road of self-love. Stand up. Advocate for you. Fight for you. Unearth your true self. Find her in the mirror and learn to love her again.


Postcard note: The absolutely gorgeous sunflower woman came from Geraldine (Nannydino on swap-bot).  She has been supplying me with some of the most unique sunflower postcards lately. “The Sunflower” was created by Canadian artist, Gabiioartist. Her inspiration was, of course, the sunflower.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. | Self-love and Soul Work

One of the most amazing experiences I had last year was traveling to Montgomery, Alabama [with a colleague and several Huntsville area K-12 teachers] and walking the path where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. began his activism. We often discuss King’s leading the fight for Civil Rights in this country with emphasis on his practice of non-violent/passive resistance. But, while he worked to build bridges between blacks and whites during one of the most turbulent eras of United States racial history, King also addressed the need for African Americans to resist the stigmatization of blackness. He urged us to love ourselves in spite of our country’s ingrained propensity to chip away at any inclination we possess toward authentic self-love and acceptance.

King would have been 90 today, and since his birthday falls during Pics and Posts’ “Self-love Week,” I am sharing an excerpt from a speech that encourages self-love.

I come here tonight to plead with you. Believe in yourself and believe that you are somebody. I said to a group last night: Nobody else can do this for us. No document can do this for us. No Lincolnian emancipation proclamation can do this for us. No Johnsonian Civil Rights bill can do this for us.

If the Negro is to be free, he must move down into the inner resources of his own soul and sign with a pen and ink of self-assertive manhood his own emancipation proclamation.

Don’t let anybody take your manhood. Be proud of our heritage…we don’t have anything to be ashamed of.

Somebody told a lie one day. They couched it in language. They made everything “black” ugly and evil. Look in your dictionaries and see the synonyms of the word “black.” It’s always something degrading and low and sinister. Look at the word “white,” it’s always something pure, high and clean. Well, I want to get the language right tonight.

I want to get the language so right that everyone here will cry out: ‘Yes, I’m Black, I’m proud of it. I’m Black and I’m beautiful!”

And because MLK’s speeches are best experienced aurally:

King spoke specifically to African Americans in this speech, but there’s something in his speech for everyone. Dig deep and do the work. Love the skin you’re in. Find within you that which is good and strong and beautiful.

Perhaps, if everyone took the time to love themselves the world wouldn’t be such a mess! We wouldn’t have to feast on fear and hatred or make ourselves sick building superficial lives in search of acceptance by others.

People who love themselves love people. People who love themselves are beautiful. People who love themselves use their energy and resources to build up others, not tear down and destroy.

Self-love is work, but one of the best ways we express self-love is through the soul work of loving others.

 

Purple Orchids and Self-Love

Photo by Christine B.

Self-love has been the theme for today. It popped up a number of times during the day–when [writing] my own morning musings steered me in that direction; when I read the latest blog post written by Briana M., a student in my Creative Nonfiction course–who happens to be the granddaughter of my late mentor; and finally, when the book I was reading to begin a class session opened to a chapter entitled “Schedule Your Own Happiness” instead of the chapter I’d bookmarked.

Point taken.

I’ve declared this week “Self-love Week” on Pics and Posts, and Briana’s insightful post–which defines self-love–is the perfect place to begin. With her permission, I’m sharing it here:

This week taught me that Self-Love is painful.
Self-Love is seeing a therapist to handle childhood trauma.
Self-Love is writing a letter to release pent up resentment.
Self-Love is visiting a grandmother who doesn’t remember who you are.
Self-Love is taking care of whatever is tugging at your heart.
Self-Love is the heavy lifting.
Self-Love is cleaning up the mess someone else left in your front yard.
Self-Love is forgiveness and forgiving those who do not deserve it.
Self-Love is forgiving yourself when no one else will.
Self-Love is digging deep enough to heal the pain you suppressed for years.
Self-Love is finding the source of the dark cloud following you around.
Self-Love is painful.
Self-Love is rewarding.
Self-Love is more than bubble bath and face mask.

This week, require more of yourself, you deserve it. –Briana M., The Introvert’s Escape Maneuver, “Self-Love is Painful”

Be sure to visit Briana’s blog and show her some blogger-love.


Note on the image: Today’s luxurious purple orchids were captured by my friend Christine B. They’re from her mother’s lovely garden.  Extra love provided by the USPS. 😉

Forgive me for being five minutes late for…