Month: May 2019

25 Silver Nuggets: Pursue the Ever After

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My hubby and I have been married for 25 years today! I’m asking “where did the time go?” like I did a week ago when my son turned 13.

People have many ideas about marriage and a whole lot to say about how we should do this or that to make a marriage “successful.” I’m certainly no marriage specialist, but I’m back with another random list of nuggets picked up in the 25 years my hubby and I have been married. Each item could easily be its own blog post, but I’d rather spare you a 25-part, month-long series on marriage. 😀

  1. The wedding is not the culmination of love. It’s barely the beginning.
  2. If you can live with his snakes, you must really love him. Or her. [We’ll just allow “snakes” to serve as a metaphor for that one thing your spouse loves that you do not love so much].
  3. Men really are from Mars, and women really are from Venus. And that’s perfectly okay.
  4. The phrase “two become one” does not mean surrendering your individuality, so hold on to your voice and your identity.
  5. You’re not half a person. No other human can complete you.
  6. Be your spouse’s greatest supporter.
  7. Words matter, so it is better to be silent through anger than speak words that linger long after the argument is over.
  8. Hard times eventually pass, so push through them together. Such grit in marriage strengthens the bonds of love and trust.
  9. You never have to “go it alone.” There is someone walking with you through the scariest, darkest moments.
  10. Laughter really is the best medicine.
  11. Flexibility is strength.
  12. Humility is strength.
  13. God in everything. Absolutely.
  14. No one’s “in charge.” Be the boss of you.
  15. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  16. We’re all weird.
  17. Sing and dance together…often.
  18. At the end of the day…love.
  19. Apologize.
  20. Forgive quickly.
  21. It’s okay to be weak and let your spouse carry the “whole load” at times.
  22. Say “I love you” often.
  23. Say “please” and “thank you.”
  24. There’s profound security in knowing there is at least one person in the whole world [besides your parents]–who has seen you at your best and at your worst, who’s seen you after the masks have been removed and the performance has ended–who loves you anyway.
  25. The part of the fairytale everyone loves is “happily ever after.” Fairytale plots are unrealistic, but pursue the “ever after.” That part is real.

Marriage is work, but it’s good work–the kind that expands and firms up your soul.

My hubby is brilliant, funny, gifted, compassionate, committed, and so many other wonderful things. We determined before marriage that heaven is one common goal we will not compromise. I can’t imagine navigating the madness of life without him and I’m grateful for our continuing march into the “ever after” together. 

The Wind of Change

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“The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
–Socrates, character in Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman, 1980–

About the Image: My Love Notes pal and literary twin, Bianca, sent the postcard above for International Women’s Day. I admired the postcard on Instagram, but had no idea it was winging its way to me. It fits perfectly with the Words and Art series. The purple, happy naturalista dance for me!

#ThursdayTreeLove | The Redbud’s Allure

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Nature, in all its wondrous glory,
Has produced much prettier things, for sure;
But, something within me moves each time
I feel the flowering redbud tree’s allure.

from “Redbud Tree” by Bill Galvin

The redbud tree is one of the first indications of spring in these parts. Though the trees bloomed a little later this year and had to compete with the other beautiful blooms, they held their own and drew my attention each time I encountered them.

You can find out more about the tree by checking out the links below:

I am joining Parul Thakur for #ThursdayTreeLove every second and fourth Thursday of the month. If you would like to play along, post a picture of a tree on your blog and link it back to her latest #treelove post.

13 Life Lessons from My [Now] 13-Year-Old

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Image by Hebi B. from Pixabay

Today is my son’s birthday, and “just like that,” there’s a teenager in our home!

If I weren’t living it, I would not believe how swiftly time flew to get us to this moment. Wasn’t it only yesterday that I was rushed to the hospital for a child who could not wait to enter the world? Wasn’t it only yesterday that I left the hospital longing for the day to bring my preemie home? Only yesterday for so many milestones, minor setbacks, and victories?

I can fill a book with all the things I learned through motherhood and my son. With his quick wit and acumen as I journey through, my son has been by far my most persistent life coach. So…in honor of my-not-so little one’s induction into “teendom,”  I’m sharing 13 “random” lessons from my now-teen. I’m not prioritizing because there are many, many valuable lessons and what follows are the first 13 “off the top of my head.”

    1. There is an unbelievable storehouse of strength inside to get through some of the toughest challenges life tosses my way.
    2. Paper, paint, and markers are the absolute best tools to chase the blues away. Humming while creating chases them even faster.
    3. Real intelligence is being able to explain the most abstract or complex concepts in the simplest terms.
    4. I set the standard for myself.  Other people’s opinions [of me] really don’t matter.
    5. There are way more important things than work. Taking time to play is a right and a responsibility.
    6. Sometimes a good cry and a nap make the world a whole lot better.
    7. The sweetest /most valuable things in life cost nothing.
    8. If I don’t like the story, I can rewrite it, recast it, and make myself the hero!
    9. Sometimes, I am the only sane one in the bunch.
    10. Reading the Holy Writ for hours at a time is never a waste of time.
    11. It certainly doesn’t hurt to ask.
    12. There’s a theory for everything.
    13. Look up. There’s still so much wonder in the clouds.

I cherish every moment of my son’s growth from one phase in life to the next. I’m glad I held him in my arms as much as I could and adjusted my life and schedule to spend more time with him. I’m “in my feelings” a bit over how quickly time flies, but I’ll just rest in these moments and not worry that in the next “blink of my eyes” he’ll be off to college.

Love Means…

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“Love” by Robert Indiana, 6th Avenue at 55th Street, New York City. Photo by Jennifer Howland Hill.

“Love” is likely the most difficult word to define. We talk about what it means, but definitions fail to hit the mark. Since it finds meaning in action and in character, we describe love more than we define it.

“Love means” was the final prompt for Love Notes 27. Peggy, again, did not disappoint as she shared a poem which demonstrates the evolving meaning(s) of love as she travels the decades.

Love Means
By Peggy L.

At the age of 10
Love means my mama’s smile and a hug.

At the age of 20
Love means bodies tangled in the sheets.

At the age of 30
Love means walking my sweet daughter to class before heading to work.

At the age of 40
Love means letting my baby find her own life, away from me.

At the age of 50
Love means discovering myself and learning to paint.

At the age of 60
Love means…

I’ll let you know.

I love how the poem touches on parental love, romantic love, self-love, and the “unknowns” of love.

As for my part, exhausted and with a mile-long to-do list I couldn’t  even attempt. I went to the Source of Love and sent my partner 1 Corinthians 13:4-8–but again, that describes rather than defines love, and there are more negatives than positives in the description.

According to 1 John 4:8. God is love. Love, therefore, is as complex and multifaceted as God. Perhaps, this is what makes it difficult to define.

If you missed Peggy’s responses to LN 27 Prompt 1 and Prompt 2, be sure click the previous link–twice!

About the image: The postcard above was sent to me by my friend Cy after a trip to New York last summer.

From the postcard back: The artist, Robert Indiana, settled in New York City in 1954 and began making pop art. His most famous work, Love, was originally designed as a Christmas card for the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in 1964. The image quickly became a symbol of peace at a time when the country had become involved in the Viet Nam War. The 12-foot sculpture was installed at the corner of 6th Avenue and 55th Street in 1971, two blocks from MoMA. It has become one of the most photographed icons in New York City. Every day thousands of couples visit the sculpture and awkwardly ask a stranger to take their photograph.

Happy Weekend!

I.M.A.G.I.N.E.

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“From Mother’s Garden.” Photo by Christine B.

Yesterday, our university president, Dr. Les, began a day-long meeting with inviting faculty and staff to think about those with whom we work who have gone out of the way, demonstrated genuine care, and made a positive impact on our lives during the “just completed” academic year. After contemplation, six were selected to share their stories and express gratitude to those individuals. This was an excellent move, and I was heartened after hearing each story.

It’s good to know that people see us as living, breathing, complex beings and not just a cog in the machinery. Furthermore, it’s good to know that we are not alone and there are always those who are willing to “take the burden” or lift us up with words and deeds.

This “lifting” must have been Peggy’s motivation when she wrote Love Notes 27, Prompt 2. The prompt was “Imagine,” and she used each letter of the word to craft seven perfect affirmations:

I think you are magic
My dreams for you are in technicolor
A light inside you shines so bright
Good things are rushing towards you
I believe in you
Never stop exploring your soul
Everything good and beautiful is meant for you

I receive with gratitude each statement as a perfect gift to carry–to bless and inspire others.

What do you imagine for others in your life? How do you help them move from imagination to practice/reality?

About the Image: Today’s purple flowers were shot by another Love Noter, my penfriend Christine B. It was the card she sent for International Women’s Month. The flowers are from her mother’s garden, sent to honor me and the memory of my sister Lori. Hugs, Christine.

Sunflowers and Connection

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I participated in the latest round of Love Notes and made a new penfriend!

Peggy L, my partner for Love Notes 27, is a retired nurse who’s finding her way to other “identities” and embracing the artist within. Her messages were sweet and cheerful and I looked forward to retrieving each from my post office box each week.

In response to the first prompt, “I invite you to…,” Peggy wrote:

I invite you to believe that we are all connected and that we can and will change the world together. I invite you to join me in a peace army, a joy tribe, a group of women who KNOW that we are the answer we have been waiting for!

Isn’t this beautiful? It fits perfectly with the woman-empowered inspiration of my Women’s History Month posts. Also, thanks to this note, I finally figured out what to do with the beautiful love notes and messages I receive. Instead of keeping them in a box or album, I’m making them a part of my journaling. Yay!

I’ll be sharing Peggy’s responses to the prompts this week along with images that feature a couple of favorites we have in common–sunflowers and purple!

About today’s image: I spotted surprise sunflowers dancing in the wind while returning from an errand on campus. They were part of a giant bouquet placed near the entry to one of the dormitories. It was a happy find!

The person who placed the bouquet happened by and chatted with me while I photographed the sunflowers. She was torn. She wanted to take the flowers to her room, but felt it would be selfish. I assured her that since the flowers were given to her (instead of being tossed at the end of an event), she was not being selfish. I invited her to enjoy the flowers for herself! 🙂 Besides, cut flowers last longer indoors than outdoors.

#ThursdayTreeLove | “The Breath of the Cherry Blossoms”

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It’s time for our first “tree love” post of May! Today, I’m sharing what I consider the crowning glory of spring–cherry blossoms!

I really should have written this post weeks ago when I had a little more energy, but I was so excited about the cherry blossoms that I couldn’t imagine being too tired for words for this particular post.

The cherry blossoms are usually the last to bloom on campus, but this year, they shot open at the same time as the dogwoods. In fact, things were so out of order that the redbuds–which normally bloom way before the cherry blossoms–were still in full bloom.

There are three trees that line one of the paths I walk frequently on campus, so I was pretty thrilled to spend time capturing them. In fact, I shot way more than 100 cherry blossom photos on two very different days–a cloudy day and a sunny day.

I did my best and whittled my selection down to 15 + a bonus post-blossoms iPhone photo. Still too many, but I hope you will enjoy them with a spot of tea and Toi Derricotte’s poem, “Cherry blossoms.”

I went down to
mingle my breath
with the breath
of the cherry blossoms.

There were photographers:
Mothers arranging their
children against
gnarled old trees;

a couple, hugging,
asks a passerby
to snap them
like that,
so that their love
will always be caught
between two friendships:

ours & the friendship
of the cherry trees.

Oh Cherry,
why can’t my poems
be as beautiful?

A young woman in a fur-trimmed
coat sets a card table
with linens, candles,
a picnic basket & wine.

A father tips
a boy’s wheelchair back
so he can gaze
up at a branched
heaven.

All around us
the blossoms
flurry down
whispering,

Be patient
you have an ancient beauty.

Be patient
you have an ancient beauty.

My favorite lens is a little wonky, so I wasn’t able to get the crisp shots I wanted, but even though these aren’t the best images, I love the bokeh in many of the photos.

Cherry blossom life is pretty short, so I wasn’t surprised to find a blanket of blossoms on the ground one rainy morning just a few days later.

For more blossom love, check out this beautiful time-lapse video from Brooklyn Botanic Garden.

I am joining Parul Thakur for #ThursdayTreeLove every second and fourth Thursday of the month. If you would like to play along, post a picture of a tree on your blog and link it back to her latest #treelove post.

Meet My Student Bloggers | If You Build It, Will They Come?

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Image by Sophie Janotta from Pixabay

I submitted final grades today [yay!], but I cannot let the semester go until I fulfill my promise to my students to share links to their blogs here on Pics and Posts.

Yes–I taught a blogging class this semester! Since this was my first time teaching the course and learning new technology can be difficult for some, I kept the goals simple. I expected students to create blogs based on their (non-academic) interests, learn some WordPress basics, interact with other bloggers, and blog on a regular basis.

Easy-peasy, right?

There were a couple of “experienced” bloggers in the course and they were lifesavers for me and the other students–especially with the technical stuff.

We covered all the “beginner” topics and talked  [a lot] about working around the pitfalls. But I underscored no matter how many strategies we have, keeping up with a blog requires practice, a little discipline, and patience.

Students were encouraged to share their blog posts on social media and follow bloggers who share their interests, but I cautioned against “blogging for likes” or following just to get followers. That creates unnecessary pressure and mental clutter and diminishes the pleasure one can find in maintaining a blog.

Though the students were excited about the course and the idea of becoming bloggers, they quickly learned that finding a niche and something to say isn’t always easy; finding time to blog with a busy-busy schedule is even more challenging. I think some were also surprised when they discovered blogging involves more than writing and posting. They seemed to have in mind that if they wrote the posts, the readers would magically appear.

[Imagine me rolling my eyes at them for resisting my pleas to add tags and categories and ignoring my constantly repeating that blogging is also about building community.]

See below for the list of blogs. They’re an eclectic bunch, with blogs based on travel experiences in Spain; natural hair care; minimalism and veganism;  fitness;  self-love; and navigating/loving life for college students and the rest of us. Please take a moment to visit them, comment, like a post or two and/or follow. I trust you will like them and they will be so encouraged by your feedback!

Here are my “honorary” students:

The students have been blogging for about three months, but I think they’re well on their way. If they continue–and I hope they do–their blogs will evolve and grow.

I’ve received many requests to teach the class next year, and I’ve taken lots of notes on what I’d do differently–so we’ll see!

Have a happy week!