Self-Kindness and the (Un)Written Plan

Interior of the Grand Hyatt Hotel in Washington, DC. Digitally altered, of course.

The publicly announced commitments to change and other goals [seem to] have increased significantly for 2020, perhaps, because most perceive the new year as the beginning rather than the end of a decade.

This morning, I had a brief discussion with Paula, an inspirational writer friend, following her (re)posting of a devotional thought she wrote at the beginning of 2018. She commented in our discussion that not much had changed in two years.

That gave me pause for two reasons: (1) From my point of view Paula has made serious strides in recent years. And (2) when I considered what I’d hoped to accomplish the past several years, I confronted the reality that I missed the mark many times, in many ways.

But before I allowed myself to sit in a stew of self-pity and regret, I decided to make a list of all the things I have accomplished over the decade. Sufficiently sated, I stopped at the end of the first long page–with plans to “complete” the list and refer to it whenever feelings of failure and defeat surface.

While writing the list, I focused on the things others can see, things I can list on my curriculum vitae or include in a professional biography. However, there are so many victories, so many successes that would not be included on a CV or in a bio.

By the grace of God, I’ve done some hard things, faced and overcome difficult obstacles. Things that took time. Energy. And left scars. Things no one else will see. Things most will never know. Things for which I will never be publicly honored, recognized, or applauded. Things that firmed up my soul and impacted the lives of others in ways I may never know.

I learned long ago my value does not come from a list of successes (or failures), a title, a bank account, or even the people around me. I also learned what I achieve through and for the Most High is far more critical than anything I do for myself.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s important to make plans and act on them, but I invite you to do so with a little more perspective and self-kindness. Even if you don’t check everything off [the probably overly ambitious] list within the time frame expected, take into consideration the ways in which you slay and conquer that aren’t written into the plan.

Happy 2020!

6 thoughts on “Self-Kindness and the (Un)Written Plan

  1. delphini510 says:

    I really love your ur post which takes into account all the lessons that don’t show on a c.v..
    I have a great number of those for last year and they have taken more courage than any
    exams. Must admit not to have done any lists for 2020 but know what I want to achieve
    as a human being.

    Wishing you joy and success this year


    Liked by 1 person

    • Chandra Lynn says:

      Awesome! I don’t usually do “New Years” lists. I save that sort of reflection and planning for my birthday. And yes–the human being part is way more important. Thanks for dropping in. Happy 2020!


  2. Sheila Marie Delgado says:

    Wonderful post, Chandra. Hugs and high five on your victories 🙂
    I so often feel I am “missing the mark”. But all I can do is keep on. Keep on swimming!
    In truth, the past decade has been horrible for me. LOL. But I have made strides too and learned so much. I usually do not make resolutions. My list of goals is ongoing and… open for new, translation.
    Here’s to a Glorious, Blessed decade ahead! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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