Grief, Impatiens, and a Mother’s Love

Two years ago today I lost my older sister Lori to breast cancer that had metastasized to her brain. I think about her and my younger sister Karlette every single day. Some days are harder than others. The hardest part [besides losing them] has been accepting that nothing could have been done to keep them with us.

I absolutely hate cancer, but what can I do about an enemy that doesn’t fight fair?

What I know about grief is that it does not dissipate. It evolves and we learn to walk with it, allow it to partner with us. It becomes a friend, even, as our hearts mend.

I photographed some fuchsia impatiens a couple of days ago while taking a short break from the computer screen. I transformed one shot to reflect a shade of Lori’s favorite color.  Impatiens are appropriate for today; they symbolize motherly love. Lori loved us all deeply in the various ways that the relationships called for, but today, I think about her sons, the children of her womb. Most of our conversations during her illness were about them. She wanted so much for them.

My prayer is that they recall her voice, her godly character, the values she quietly instilled. My prayer is that they ever feel her love and that all she poured into them fuels and guides them as they move through life.

13 thoughts on “Grief, Impatiens, and a Mother’s Love

  1. My Life in Our Father's World says:

    What a beautiful remembrance of your sister. Breast cancer also runs in my family (both sides) so I have been getting mammograms since I was 30.

    Do your nephews live close enough that you can get together with them today. Just being together without having to talk can be a balm for a greiving heart. 🙏💗💔

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Eileen says:

    A priest once told me, grief is like a rubber band : it lets you go to take a deep breath and will pull you back when least expected. Nothing you can do about this. You seem very strong to see grief as a friend… stay strong and brave dear Chandra! My thoughts are with you and your nephews ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

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