Musings from My Younger Self | Composed in My Bedroom

Altered Daisies-1

I wrote several collections of poetry in my younger years. The poem I posted yesterday, “Gentle Rage,” comes from a collection entitled On a Sleepless Night. Today’s poem, “Composed in My Bedroom on a Saturday Night, comes from a collection entitled, Looking for the Strength. Denise, one of my high school besties, did the research and found the information to help me get my collections copyrighted through the Library of Congress. (I’ve always had such wonderful, encouraging friends).

Composed in My Bedroom on a Saturday Night
Chandra Lynn (Age: 18)

The walls of concentration
are my prison tonight.
I cannot hear the muffled sounds of the TV
or my daddy’s snoring from the next room.
I’m deep in thought,
lost in a world of my own.

I like the music played softly
in the background:
the peace of mind
that comes with joy
that comes with knowing and accepting myself.

I cherish the memories that crowd my thoughts,
as laughter and tears flood my soul,
happy to be free.

My world is more intriguing and beneficial
than the world going on around me–
So many just hold on to life
while I reach toward a dream.

I confront the loneliness that I’d know
if I were unhappy about being alone.
Loneliness and aloneness
are two different states of mind.
I delight in being alone,
but loneliness will not arrive
unless I desert myself.

Unlike yesterday’s poem, I remember the details of writing this poem. This was written a few months after I graduated from high school, a few days after my 18th birthday. Most of my friends were in college, but going to college didn’t feel right for me at the time. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to major in music, English, journalism, or psychology, so I took a gap year (and, because it was still all so overwhelming, another). That’s a story for another time, but with everyone gone or busy, I often spent my Saturday nights at home in my room. I wrote this poem in my bedroom one such evening, enjoying the quiet and the time alone. I was typically content with being alone–as long as I had my books, music, journals, stickers, and pens. I don’t think much has changed. 🙂

7 thoughts on “Musings from My Younger Self | Composed in My Bedroom

  1. Manu says:

    So many hold onto life while I reach for a dream- well said Chandra ( your 18yr old self was wise). And I like the difference you mention of being alone and loneliness. I enjoy my alone time, it does not mean I like being lonely but my alone time is something I cherish and very much need.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sheila Marie Delgado says:

    Love this Chandra! Love the dreamy art as well! Aloneness. Yes. Not lonely. 🙂 Love that you knew who you were, and apparently have not strayed too far. LOL. And I love your encouraging friendship! So awesome. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your soul with us, Chandra 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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