Shhh…I Have a Secret

Painted Daddy WM

The soul of the father
is steeped in joy. —Edward Guest

I have a secret. 

It’s not a good one, but it’s one I’ve held in my heart all day. I wanted to talk about it, but I thought talking about it would make me sadder and make the listeners sad too. 

Today marks one year since I last laid my eyes on my living and breathing dad. After spending nearly a week at home (in New Orleans)—with EMTs being called and hospital visits almost daily—my sister and I were about to drive back to Huntsville. Reluctantly. We visited him in the hospital and whispered our good-byes. 

My heart aches when I think about our quiet good-bye. He deserved one last, good celebration, with a lot of fuss and hoopla.

I knew his sojourn was coming to an end, but I pleaded with God to restore his health and give him just a little more time–for all the selfish but lovely reasons. 

Having been down this road twice before, I also I knew I was in denial. I prayed for the miracle, though He had already given the answer: It was time for him to rest. It was time to let him rest. 

Six days later…he took his last breath at home (thankfully) and left a nagging ache that I have been processing for almost a year now.

I am learning how to walk in the world without him, to cherish his gifts and celebrate his joy. That’s the thing I carry with me when I miss him most. His joy—a joy that delightfully danced across his spirit. 

My last gift to him–mere weeks before his death–captured that. At least, I hope it did. 

Thanks for letting me share my secret. It feels good to let it out. 

Bible Review | Time for Deep Study!

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Thanks to the generosity of the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid, I am back with another Bible review. This time–the King James Version (KJV) Thompson Chain-Reference Bible, published by Zondervan 2022). The Bible is packed with delicious features for those who love intense, cerebral Bible study sessions. Though the Bible can be studied straight through from Genesis to Revelation, the chain-reference Bible demands more from us.

The 2000(+)-page Bible features more than 8000 topical listings in its alphabetical index and more than 100,000 marginal references. More than 4000 topics are systematically organized in chains “enabling the student to follow the prominent texts of a topic from the beginning of the Bible to the end. Many of these topics are subdivided, allowing for even more detailed analysis.”

This is the definitive study Bible, allowing Bible students and scholars to delve deeply into scripture through topical, thematic, chapter, and book studies as well as thorough examination of particular passages, biblical characters, and verses. 

The Bible features:

  • Complete text of the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible
  • Easy-to-understand chain-reference system with over 100,000 references
  • Alphabetical and numerical indexes [that] highlight study materials for over 8,000 topics, each with its own topic number, for exhaustive topical study
  • An outline of the Bible
  • Bible study methods
  • An extensive study resource section [that] includes:
    • Bible character studies
    • illustrated studies of the Bible
    • a KJV concordance
    • Bible harmonies
    • A section on Hebrew times, Seasons, and Festivals
  • Two-color page design
  • Introductions for each of the 66 books of the Bible
  • 16-page full-color map section with map index
  • Words of Jesus in red

The Bible is printed in the KJV comfort print typeface. Since there is little marginal space, the two-color design goes a long way to break of the text-heavy pages and give tired eyes like mine some relief.

I have only had a few days to explore the KJV Thompson Chain-Reference Bible, but I am pleased with what I have seen thus far. I am not going to pull this Bible out when I want to journal scripture or make copious notations in the margins. This one is for deep, long studies of scripture with my beautiful 300-page Bible study journal. 

I can’t wait to dig in at my leisure!

Of course, I received the Bible free from the Bible Gateway Blogger Grid, but you can purchase the Bible here: Faith Gateway or here: Amazon.

If you want more information on how the KJV Thompson Chain-Reference Bible works, check out this short video on YouTube:

Carter G. Woodson, Black History Month, and “Lifting the Veil of Ignorance”

Five years ago….still relevant. Add the material linked in Google to your reading list this month: Black History, Arts, and Culture. Happy Black HIstory Month!

Pics and Posts

Did you see yesterday’s (February 1) Google doodle? The doodle appropriately featured “The Father of Black History,” Carter G. Woodson, and, when clicked, provided links to the many articles and websites focused on Woodson.

If you missed it, here it is [image links to Google search on Woodson].

Google Doodle by Artist Shannon Wright

Woodson was concerned about the role of African Americans in history. He wrote of the history and hoped to “lift the veil of ignorance.” His work, The Miseducation of the Negro (1933), which critiques the American educational system for its failures to include accurate and deep attention to Black history, is still relevant, valued reading at many colleges and universities. He founded the Association of Negro Life and History (now, the Association for the Study of African American Life and History) and launched Black History Week which later expanded into Black History Month.

Every February…

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Musings from My Younger Self | My Mother

I recently rediscovered a poem I wrote about my mom when I was a teen. Her 86th birthday is the perfect time to share it on the blog. It is a simple poem, but it captures my mom’s temperament, lovingkindness, and character.

My Mother 
Chandra Lynn (Age: 14)

Patience and kindness
make up her face-
always taking her time,
never in haste.

A loving mother of ten,
grandmother of two-
so full of love
she doesn’t know what to do.

A dedicated mother,
a faithful wife-
it’s not wonder why
she enjoys her life.

Yes, we love her
all the same.
There isn’t a thing about her
that we would change.

This past year without my dad has been incredibly difficult for my mom, but God is clearly with her–as He’s always been–walking with her, holding her, and carrying her through the storms. She remains for me a beautiful model for responding to the dramas of life. Love her to pieces!

Happy Birthday, Mama!

#WednesdayWisdom | Some Days and Sunflowers

January Sunnies1

I hope by tomorrow I can unscramble the load of words bumping against each other in my brain. For now, please enjoy the words of Ullie-Kaye. Her poem manages to capture my “some days,” which have been going on for a week or two. Thankfully, though, there were sunflowers.

some days
ullie-kaye

some days are hard. and when they are,
i allow myself to feel whatever it is
that my body asks me to feel and i respect
the time it needs to fumble and flounder
and fall a little. some days i am swallowed whole
by things too big for me to hold.
and so i set them down. i rest, knowing
that even when i cannot slay the beast,
i can lay aside my sword for a moment and
work on protecting my spirit instead.
some days my heart beats like thunder
inside of my chest. it is heavy. and loud.
and relentless. it does not listen to the
part of me that wants to silence the storm.
and so i take my eyes off of the noise and
fix them on quieter places. on music. and art.
and heaven. and trees. and i show myself
grace in the dark. even if i am shaking my
way through it. because some days i still
haven’t caught my breath from yesterday yet.


Note: You can find more of Ullie-Kaye’s work on Facebook or Instagram [click links]. You can also purchase her poems–which always seem to resonate–as 5×7 cards here: Ullie-Kaye Poetry.

#ThursdayTreeLove | Winter Care

Beckra Leaf

Cherish the winter. Cherish its quietness, the time of going within to rest and heal. Cherish this time of preparation that must come before new life. Cherish the hope that lies beneath the snow.  –Melody Beattie, Journey to the Heart 

This morning, as I was reading the passage above, I realized why I feel a bit on edge: this winter has been anything but quiet and restful. I have been busy, busy, and busy beyond busy, but as of this moment, I am taking a page out of Melody Beattie’s book (pun intended) and strategizing ways to find rest and quiet in the middle of the busy. It can be done. I mastered the art of stillness in the midst of madness before and, by the grace of God, I can do it again.

The strange thing is that I began to accept this level of “all the time” busy as normal. Everybody seems out of control with busyness, and no one seems really okay with it. I see the desperation for respite and healing in the eyes of many as we cross paths. I hear the frenzy in their voices. The rush to “normalcy” during the height of pandemic has affected us in significant ways—especially (I think) those of us in (all levels of) education. 

Therefore, we must be intentional—jealous even—about protecting ourselves and not allowing our jobs, our communities, and even our own aspirations to define what should be normal for us. We must take the reins (again) of our own lives and drastically eliminate the unnecessary.

It seems cliche, but it isn’t: take care of you. 


About the Image: The beautiful leaf image was shot by my pen friend, Rebecca R (Beckra). It isn’t amazing how we can see in the leaf a whole tree?

I am joining Parul Thakur for #ThursdayTreeLove every second and fourth Thursday of the month. If you would like to play along, post a picture of a tree on your blog and link it back to her latest #treelove post.

Welcoming 2023: Seven Tips for Beating Winter Sorrow

Winter Trees

I’m baaaaaaccccckkkk! 

So, 2023?

Here we are and I can’t say that I am feeling all the “new newness” of the year. I want to. I am trying to, but I can’t seem to get my head in the game. In fact, I spent the first days of the year “in a funk,” as my mom and baby sister would say. A million things to do. Too many ideas floating around in my head. “Goings on” I would normally be excited about. I just could not get myself motivated to do anything. 

I blame “wintercearig”–winter sorrow–a feeling of downheartedness or despondency caused by or as desolate as the depths of winter. You can read all about the Anglo-Saxon word on the Haggard Hawks blog. Wintercearig perfectly captures the impact of the winter season. 

I don’t think I suffer from “seasonal affective disorder,” but December brought two or three weeks (straight) of dreary, rainy weather followed by insanely cold temperatures.

Temp Dec

Actual temperature two days before Christmas–and I had done very little preparation. 

Considering this is the South, it was downright disrespectful. It seemed everyone’s spirits suffered. My own bones were so steeped in “winter sorrow” that I had to fake my way through the holidays. 

When I was facing the return to work last week, I struggled. I literally begged God to lift my spirits. I had things to do, after all!

An agonizing day later, my Bible study took me to Philippians 3:13-14:

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Even though the verses have different meanings, I stalled at the phrase “press on” and accepted the Divine instruction to press. As much as I would have loved to lie on the sofa under a comfy throw and binge-watch “whatever,” I was well aware of the reality:

We have responsibilities that we cannot ignore and we can’t always “lie down” and succumb to our feelings. Sometimes, we have to “press on” no matter what. So, I sat down and scribbled some ideas in my journal to help get me through the day–ideas for “pressing” on when we lack motivation, when we’re weary, and when we’re simply “in a funk.” 

  1. First things first: Get up and move. Do something. Walk. Run. Dance. Clean your house. Chop some wood. Just move. Don’t allow yourself to sit and wallow.
  2. If you’re anything like me, when you don’t feel like doing anything, staring at a long list of tasks to be completed is enough to send you into a state of depression. Sometimes, you have to place the lengthy list in a drawer and make a new list of the absolutely must-dos and hit that list hard and fast—one by one. Task by task is key to not overwhelming yourself and running in the opposite direction. Pro tip: When you’re “in a funk,” even the smallest task, expectation, or obligation can feel impossible, so pray your way through every movement and remind yourself, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 
  3. Make a piping hot cup of tea and sip slowly while listening to some cool jazz or your favorite music. Yes, tea is the answer to almost everything. 😉

  4. And while we’re on the subject of music. Create a playlist of your upbeat favs and sing along loudly and off key. There’s nothing like giving your abdominals a good workout to improve mood. I’m sure there’s some physiological explanation for that, but I’ll let the music therapists address the topic.

  5. Do something bright and colorful! Throw paint around. Play with stickers. Write a cheerful ditty or postcard. Do something that brings out your inner creative or inner child.

  6. Dial a friend. A funny one. One who is lighthearted and free and who will not allow you to remain in the doldrums.

  7. Plan a reward for yourself—a nap (my favorite reward), a new book, a pretty pen—something you can enjoy when you break free of your “downward” mood.

These all work for me, but what do you do when faced with all the icky, sluggish feelings that descend from time to time? Share in the comments.

Until next time…

May 2023 be good to thee. 😉

A Lesson on Rest

Silhouette-4

A Lesson on Rest
France Archange

(TO BE USED WISELY IF TIRED OR WOUNDED OR LIVING A BUSY LIFE)

When one of his mules was wounded, my grandfather would take charcoal from a fire and put it on the wound. Then he would put the mule away by itself so it could heal and not be exposed to the elements or hard work. None of his workers could use it to carry any load. After some time without carrying any load and being put away by itself, the wound would heal… it’s okay to go away for a while.


The short prose piece above was written by France Archange, one of my former students (and current writing buddy)—now a college graduate on her way to medical school. Her “Lesson on Rest” is an appropriate way to “announce” my two-week blog break. I meet all the criteria for rest: I’m tired, a little wounded, and living a busy writing life. I think this piece can be found in her book, Unraveling. You can find more of France’s work on Instagram: @theunraveledsociety. Speaking of Instagram, I’ll still be posting “musings from my younger self,” so if you miss me, you can visit me there. 😉 Otherwise, I’ll see you in two weeks!

About the Image: The pic is from Harvest Square Preserve.  It is a variation of the photo I chose for the Week 28: Silhouette prompt for 52Frames.

Busy Being Busy: Lesson from the Little Bits

Busy Being Busy

After finishing another exhausting workday, I started thinking about all the things I have to do between now and Christmas and all the fun and rest I’ll get when the holiday break begins. I made the collage above with Bitmoji images featuring all the things I hope to do: deep clean house; get ahead on some business matters; prepare the house for Christmas; binge-watch television programs and Christmas movies; finish Christmas shopping; practice photography techniques; read a few good books; catch up on snail mail; connect with friends; spend time with my guys; rest and relax; spend time with family; get craftsy; pamper myself; work on writing projects; take time for tree therapy; organize photos; sleep, sleep, and more sleep.

Have you figured out what I figured out while making this little collage? Even though I worked in some rest and relaxation, that’s a whole lot of “busy” in what should be a period of rest. I might need to spend the time simply rethinking my life…and sleeping. Sleep is essential.