Tag: photography

Living with Mental Clutter

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BW Rose

After running to and fro and working like crazy over the last few months, I decided to work from home this week. I needed to not rush through the morning. I needed to not spend much of my day talking, talking, talking. I needed to use the time usually spent in commute and hustle and bustle out of and back into the house in silence and with far less movement.

With my guys gone during the day, I spent a lot of time alone. I thought I’d spend the extra time writing—or at least making sense of the clutter and chaos in my home office. 

But I didn’t. 

In my spare time, I chose to binge watch a series on Netflix, play around with planner tools, and sign books. 

I have far too many thoughts crammed into my head to write or think clearly. Unlike the physical clutter in my office, I can’t easily organize the mental clutter into files or keep, give away, and toss piles. Decluttering the mind requires a bit more intentionality—prayer, meditation, journaling, discipline, and the ear of a trusted friend. It certainly takes more than a day or two.

Since I am lacking the bandwidth to deal with any of it right now, I decided to live with the jumble of thoughts, words, and feelings for a while. 

That’s simply the best I can do at the moment. And, you know what? That’s okay. 

About the Image: The rose featured in this post was given to me by my 8-year-old cousin, Mikayla, for Mother’s Day. It happily lived among my sunflowers for more than two weeks.

#ThursdayTreeLove | Rest and Refuel

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Crepe Myrtle1 for TTLove

Yesterday, as I was exiting Publix {aka my favorite grocery store], I overheard an exasperated woman speaking with a friend on the phone. As we rolled our carts through the parking lot, she ranted about how she had gone constantly from one thing to the next for the past several days and had no rest. She was beyond exhausted. I thought about something I scribbled in my doodle journal a couple of months ago, and started to share the words with her. But when I looked back at her—mid-rant, pushing a full grocery cart, phone securely attached to her ear—it did not feel appropriate.

That’s how I’ve been feeling about my blog posts lately. I’ve drafted several over the last few months that I cannot bring myself to post. Why? I really can’t say, but something in me says, “Not appropriate.” “Not now.” So, I’ve heeded that inner voice. 

But, maybe, you need to hear what propriety prohibited my sharing with the stressed out and over-scheduled parking lot woman—especially as we head into the second busiest time of the year for some of us:

When you’re on “E” [empty], rest and refuel. Turn off the devices. Sleep. Take a long soak in the tub. Journal. Take out your pen and paint and create. Do what you must to fuel your body and soul and to feel human again. 

Of course, it would be better to not allow yourself to get to “empty,” so here’s an extra bit of counsel:

Learn to find rest in the small moments.

These are the little bits my inner voice will allow me to share. Let’s see what she permits next. 😉

About the Image: I am still sensitive to the various pollens and scents of outdoors, so I am sharing an older picture. I shot the crepe myrtle while in New Orleans late last summer. I was drawn to the smooth bark and the pink and green against the blue sky.

I usually join Parul Thakur for #ThursdayTreeLove every second and fourth Thursday of the month. If you would like to play along, post a picture of a tree on your blog and link it back to her latest #treelove post.

#ThursdayTreeLove | Late Prayer

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5Trees

I drafted a rather lengthy blog post earlier today when I had energy and (a little) time for words, but the evening calls not for my words but for something different.

Late Prayer
Jane Hirshfield

Tenderness does not choose its own uses.
It goes out to everything equally,
circling rabbit and hawk.
Look: in the iron bucket,
a single nail, a single ruby –
all the heavens and hells.
They rattle in the heart and make one sound.

About the Image: Unfortunately, I have been hypersensitive to tree pollen this year, so I have not been able to spend much time in tree therapy. I pulled the image above from last year’s archive. The trees and sky greeted me as I exited a store one afternoon. Of course, I “amped” up the colors a bit to make the sky more dramatic.

I usually join Parul Thakur for #ThursdayTreeLove every second and fourth Thursday of the month. If you would like to play along, post a picture of a tree on your blog and link it back to her latest #treelove post.

#ThursdayTreeLove | O Sweet Spontaneous

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Blossom 2023

In these parts everything is blooming–the pear blossoms, cherry blossoms, almond blossoms, dogwoods, redbuds, and more. All the blooming trees are blossoming all at once–in a glorious, spontaneous display of spring.

O Sweet Spontaneous
e.e. cummings

O sweet spontaneous
earth how often have
the
doting
             fingers of
prurient philosophers pinched
and
poked
thee
,has the naughty thumb
of science prodded
thy
        beauty      how
often have religions taken
thee upon their scraggy knees
squeezing and
buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive
gods
         (but
true
to the incomparable
couch of death thy
rhythmic
lover
             thou answerest
them only with
                              spring)

I am joining Parul Thakur for #ThursdayTreeLove every second and fourth Thursday of the month. If you would like to play along, post a picture of a tree on your blog and link it back to her latest #treelove post.

#WednesdayWisdom | Some Days and Sunflowers

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January Sunnies1

I hope by tomorrow I can unscramble the load of words bumping against each other in my brain. For now, please enjoy the words of Ullie-Kaye. Her poem manages to capture my “some days,” which have been going on for a week or two. Thankfully, though, there were sunflowers.

some days
ullie-kaye

some days are hard. and when they are,
i allow myself to feel whatever it is
that my body asks me to feel and i respect
the time it needs to fumble and flounder
and fall a little. some days i am swallowed whole
by things too big for me to hold.
and so i set them down. i rest, knowing
that even when i cannot slay the beast,
i can lay aside my sword for a moment and
work on protecting my spirit instead.
some days my heart beats like thunder
inside of my chest. it is heavy. and loud.
and relentless. it does not listen to the
part of me that wants to silence the storm.
and so i take my eyes off of the noise and
fix them on quieter places. on music. and art.
and heaven. and trees. and i show myself
grace in the dark. even if i am shaking my
way through it. because some days i still
haven’t caught my breath from yesterday yet.

Note: You can find more of Ullie-Kaye’s work on Facebook or Instagram [click links]. You can also purchase her poems–which always seem to resonate–as 5×7 cards here: Ullie-Kaye Poetry.

Photo Collage | PhotoArt from the Creative Gathering

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page0

As I wrote the date in my journal this morning, it hit me like a ton of bricks–we are about to enter the last month of the year. The last month! I slightly panicked about all the things I’d planned but didn’t and won’t get to before Christmas. Thankfully, I quickly adjusted. I cannot allow the unfinished business of the year to plague the last few weeks, especially since the deadlines are self-imposed and none of it is actually necessary.

That said, taking time to share beauty and light is always necessary, so this week, I’m opening my camera roll and creating collages of some things I’ve wanted to share, but have been too busy or too tired to do so.

Today’s long overdue post features the 30 pieces of photo-art I created for Sheila D’s September 30-day Gathering (the Gathering).  I went into the Gathering knowing only one thing: since I wanted to feel like a “real” artist, I would put some work into the photos and alter them using PhotoShop and/or other photo applications. After my third post, I decided to work in threes–that is, I would work with one theme or technique for three days and then select my favorite piece for each day’s post. This resulted in 10 themes/techniques for the month–which resulted in a bazillion photos (not exactly an exaggeration):

  1. Music
  2. Circles
  3. Purple Flowers
  4. DistressFx
  5. Sunflowers
  6. Purple and Red
  7. Purple Fractals
  8. Brushstrokes
  9. Textures
  10. Roses

I usually worked the photos in more than one app to achieve the desired results. I shared four of them on the blog in September, and maybe, I’ll get around to sharing the others–and some of the other 709 pieces I created during September. Yes, that is the exact number. Isn’t that close to a bazillion? 😉

I thoroughly enjoyed the Gathering. It provided time out from life’s vagaries and lots of free therapy! Unfortunately, that was the last time I took time to create art every day. In fact, that was the last period in which I consistently took time for creative fun and possibly the last time I could vouch for my own sanity!

You can get an overview of the full Gathering and a glimpse of the work of the other artists by checking out Sheila’s post featuring the Creative Gathering Group Gallery. There’s lots of wonderful eye candy for your soul!

#ThursdayTreeLove | Green Trees in My Heart

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Golden Glow Tree-3

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a songbird will come. –Chinese Proverb

I missed the last month and a half of posting for #ThursdayTreeLove, so I am dropping in to share some trees from a recent brief walk between buildings on campus. The sky boasted an unusual hue–a cross between overcast and golden skies. These pics do not do justice to the scene I beheld. There was no way a phone camera could adequately capture the gorgeous play between trees and clouds, but I hope these are at least adequate.

I didn’t attract any songbirds, but if you look closely, you can see a squirrel hanging out in one of the pics. Close enough, right? 

I am usually joining Parul Thakur for #ThursdayTreeLove every second and fourth Thursday of the month, but I’m playing catchup and sharing on the third Thursday. If you would like to play along, post a picture of a tree on your blog and link it back to her latest #treelove post.

Musings from My Younger Self | Three Country Heartbreak Poems

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52Frames Week 10 Low Key

“Wilting Sunflower.” My submission for 52Frames Week 10: Low Key

Tonight I’m dropping in to make good on a promise I made last month—to share some of the “country heartbreak” poems of my youth.  I really have no idea what I was exposed to that made me write them. They might be based on songs I listened to, soap operas I watched, or even books I read. I repeat: I.have.no.idea.  By today’s standards, I lived a pretty sheltered life, so even though the subject matter of the poems is not comical, my knowing I had little to no first- (or even second-) hand experience makes these poems pretty funny to me. 

I wrote all three poems the same day, about a month after I turned 15. There was a note at the top of “Guilty” that “all grammatical errors were done on purpose.” 

Guilty! 
Chandra Lynn (Age: 15)

I turned my back
and you’re headed on another road.
Well, I’m glad you’re gone
‘cause I don’t want you no mo’.

Comin’ home late ev’ry night
wit’ whiskey on your breath;
I’m telling you now,
nothin’s happened, not jus’ yet.

‘Cause when I git started,
I’m gonna go rough,
‘cause it’s no-good punks like you
who make a woman’s life tough.

So when you’re found guilty,
don’t act like you’re surprised.
Your pathetic life
is gonna flash before your eyes.

Promises! Promises! Promises!
Chandra Lynn (Age: 15)

You promised you’d come back;
you said you’d be back quick.
You promised we’d get married;
you put me in a fix.

Well, now you are back,
only two years late;
now, you’re married,
and I’m not your mate.

You said you love me,
but how could you?
You’ve hurt my feelings
and double-crossed me too.

Now, here I am,
a heart as cold as ice;
I am so heartbroken
that I cry all night.

You made too many promises,
promises you didn’t keep.
You told me you love me,
but the love you had wasn’t deep.

Our Illegitimate Child
Chandra Lynn (Age: 15)

Life has no meaning now—
You have gone away.
I gaze out my window,
praying you’d come back some day.

Nothing seems to happen;
I guess, that’s how it’s meant to be—
I take two steps forward,
and you turn around and leave me.

Nothing or no one can replace you
or your smile,
only this one reminder—
our illegitimate child.

Yes. I know the poems are problematic and flawed, but as I told an Instagrammer who offered unsolicited tips on improving one of my “youthful poems,” adult me is going to let teenage me be who she was as a writer. If you’re not already following my Musings Instagram, click here to follow: Musings from My Younger Self.

My Golden Reminder to #facethesun

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Golden Hour 1-B

Today is the fourth anniversary of my sister Lori’s passing, so, predictably, I woke up in the grips of sadness. I wanted to spend the day in quiet contemplation, perhaps, dreaming in purple, but Monday means necessary work. I was not exactly looking forward to a long “working meeting” day and wondered how in the world I would get through, but God reminded me that work is sacred and that as long as I continued “working for Him,” He would do His part in helping me feel safe, focused, and strong enough to get through. 

After a gloomy weekend, the sun is shining brightly, an invitation for me to glow in the moment. I am thankful for this moment. Though grieving the loss, I am grateful for Lori’s beautiful life.

I crafted the sunflower in today’s post for the Week 36: Golden Hour prompt for 52Frames. Unable to find a good “golden hour” to shoot in, I spent a figurative golden hour with this sunflower. It is just the image I need to have in my mind–a sunny reminder to change my focus or #facethesun [the Son of God] when I encounter the unpleasant moments of life.